Memories of Tomorrow
by Claire57
Summary: An AU: what happens at the end of S4 when the volcano explodes.


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Memories of Tomorrow

By Claire Boston

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Spoilers: Occurs immediately at the end of "Point of No Return".

Disclaimer: Not my characters. Will return after use, but no guarantee as to condition. Any mistakes are entirely my own. 

Rating: PG

Summary: An AU: what happens at the end of S4 when the volcano explodes. 

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As Renee stumbled down the rocky lava tube toward the shuttle, she felt Augur's steadying hand at her elbow. She felt torn; part of her wanted to flee the shaking, collapsing cavern as the suffocating fear of being buried alive caused her stomach to clench in fear, while another part wanted to do something, anything, to try to retrieve Liam from Ma'el's regeneration chamber.

As she and Augur flung themselves to one side to avoid a chunk of rock shaken loose from the tube's ceiling, they saw Street stagger as the shaking caused her to lose her footing. Reaching her, Augur began pulling her up, while Renee grabbed the other arm. Street's face was streaked with tears.

"Come on! This place is gonna blow!" Augur urged them on, with a note of real fear in his voice. Desperately, the three continued stumbling down the shaking corridor toward the waiting shuttle.

As they exited the lava tube, the DI pilot was frantically motioning them on. "Hurry up! We have to go NOW!' he screamed with a wild glance at the surrounding walls of the caldera. Already, sections of the crater floor had cracked open, and deadly fumes were spewing out, along with chunks of flaming rock. One distant section of the crater had collapsed, and they could see the red glow of molten magma that was escaping down the side of the mountain. The rough floor of the crater under their feet seemed to burn through their shoes, and they coughed as the relatively fresh air of the tunnel was swept aside by a wave of foul-smelling wind that Renee knew would be deadly in a few minutes.

As the three reached the shuttle, the pilot climbed in and frantically began the launch sequence. Augur found his path blocked by Street, who had stopped suddenly to look desperately over her shoulder. "Liam! We can't leave Liam!" Her voice contained more than a little rising hysteria.

Renee reached out to grab both of Street's arms as Augur's protégé took a step back the way they had just come. "We have to go, Street! We'll die if we don't! It's what Liam wanted!" Renee knew she sounded harsh, but there was no time. She met Augur's eyes, the anguish in her own threatening to break. "He wouldn't want us to die, too."

"She's right, Juliette. We have to leave. We have to trust Liam, and trust that Ma'el planned for this, too."

With a last anguished look toward the entrance of the lava tube, Street climbed into the shuttle, Augur and Renee close behind her. As they settled into the seats and pulled the restraints into place, the pilot lifted off. "This is gonna be close…" he muttered as he launched the shuttle into the clouds of swirling dust and hot gases that were pouring from fissures all over the top of the mountain. Augur and Renee exchanged glances; this wasn't looking good. Behind them, Street absently rubbed tear stains from her face, her eyes wide with fear.

As the shuttle began to rise, it was rocked by an especially violent blast of steam mixed with large chunks of flaming stone. Tossed violently, the pilot tried to right the shuttle. Renee had one brief look at the terrain below; it was like a scene out of hell. She knew that they could never survive if the shuttle went down in that. She gripped the edges of the seat's restraints, unconsciously bracing herself for an impact. The pilot cursed under his breath, fighting desperately with the controls as the shuttle spun first one way, then the other. Finally, he seemed to gain control, and the shuttle began to gain some distance from the fiery mountain. Focusing all his attention on the shuttle's controls, he began to initiate the sequence that would take the shuttle into ID space.

Inside the cabin, the others were silent, frozen in various stages of shock, fear, and disbelief. Always priding herself on her ability to cope, Renee felt the accumulated shocks of the day beginning to overwhelm her ability to process them and come up with a course of action. Inside, a part of her was screaming and raging with grief – _Oh, Liam, how can I bear to lose you again? It's not fair!_ – even as she saw the same haunted feelings reflected in Augur's eyes. On impulse, she reached out a hand toward him, wanting to share the feelings, the misery, wanting to offer what comfort she could. Behind them, the mountain suddenly roared, tearing itself apart in a paroxysm of violence. 

And the world erupted in flames, catching the shuttle in the fiery shock wave and engulfing it as its stunned occupants sat, helpless, knowing that they had only seconds to live…

*****************

On the mothership, Sandoval faintly heard the sound of the ID portal activating as the Jaridians departed for Earth. He could feel the cool surface of the corridor against his cheek, but his chest and arm were an agony of pain. Dimly, he realized that he was mortally wounded, but somehow it seemed distant, detached. _I always wondered how it would end, _he thought. And a part of him seemed to welcome it. But deep down inside, a small voice was raging. _No! I can't! I won't let it… _He stared at a section of floor a few inches from his face, and felt the floor shake as the mothership was rocked by another blast from a nuclear warhead. 

__

It's over. The thought kept running through his head, but it still didn't seem real. _There's so much I wanted to do! The Taelons… I have to stop them, have to keep them from destroying us! Make them destroy the Jaridians, destroy each other, and leave Earth in peace! _The thoughts continued going round and round in his head. _That's the only thing that makes it all worthwhile, makes it worth sacrificing my soul! I have to stop them, save Earth, save my son… My son. I love you, even though I've never met you, don't know where you are or even who your mother is. But I know that I love you. I'm doing this for you, so you have a world to grow up in, safe and free from the Taelons' evil. I can't die now, I can't!_

__

I have to get off the mothership. I have to get to the bridge, he thought. But somehow, his body wouldn't respond, wouldn't pull him up. He felt wetness on his face, and a stinging, burning sensation was beginning to make itself felt, like a fiery brand. The lights were dimming; did that mean the mothership's last power reserves were failing? If he could only get to the bridge…

Slowly, Sandoval's eyes closed as the final darkness washed over him….

*****************

Deep inside the mountain, Liam struggled to breathe. The heated air was becoming thick with sulfurous fumes and noxious gases. Standing above the pool of Atavus energy, he extended his arms, feeling the flow of the energies from the pool to the surrounding six paired chambers. As he felt the flow building to a crescendo, the cavern was rocked with another violent tremor. Using the energies streaming up around him to help steady his balance, he concentrated on directing the energy flows.

As the floor of the cavern shook with an especially hard tremor, Liam clamped down on the part of his mind that was screaming for him to run, escape, get out.... But there was no way out. The ID portal wouldn't work for him until he had finished his part of this final process. Somehow, Ma'el had known what was required, had organized and planned for it. _Had he planned the volcano, too?_ a part of Liam's mind wondered. He hoped so; he didn't think even Taelon tech could stand up to the full force of an erupting volcano. 

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Just a little bit longer… he thought. _If I can just complete the initial stage of the joining, the chamber's multidimensional controls will move it to…_

With a burst of heat, the rear wall of the cavern exploded inward, molten rock and superheated steam blasting throughout the chamber. As the energy fields collapsed, Liam didn't even have time for a scream…

****************

Inside each chamber, a Taelon and a Jaridian faced each other, each locked in a brief and yet timeless contemplation of the other, the enemy. Da'an felt a tremor of fear, causing him to shiver as he felt the chambers move closer together. Fear. He understood fear, now. Ever since he had been given the transplanted human emotions, stolen from Richard Palmer, Da'an had known fear. Fear of dying from too much _kryss_. Fear of being exposed for the help he provided to Liam and Renee and the human Resistance. Fear of being abandoned by the Commonality. And fear of the final ending of his species. 

That he also knew love, was beginning to understand the power and strength that it imparted to the human species, was also a part of what he had gained from Richard Palmer. And although he had willingly given up the emotions, allowed them to be taken from him and returned to their owner, a part of them remained within him. Or perhaps the emotions had simply changed him, and their removal had merely left behind the changes of their passage. Whatever the cause, he now felt threads of fear winding along the energy pathways of his body as he locked eyes with Vorjak and saw the same emotions deep within the eyes of the being he had called 'enemy' for a lifetime. 

As another, harder tremor rocked them in their chambers, the two halves came together with a final and ominous clank. Da'an had lost his human façade entirely, and now the two could eye each other with only the dim glow of Da'an energy pathways. Standing chest to chest, they felt the flow of Atavus energies beginning, a sensation that was at once raging yet soothing, gentle yet tumultuous. As their forms began to waver, they each felt the sensation of moving closer, together. It was a feeling Da'an had experienced once before, during the abortive joining with Balvak. He tried to push aside the memory of that failure, instead concentrating on reaching, opening, welcoming Vorjak, the other who would become part of him. 

__

Will we each retain our memories, merged into one? Or will we be like a new being, beginning life anew with no past? I cannot recall from the joining with Balvak; it was not complete. Da'an felt himself trembling, feeling the flow of energy in the chamber that both offered salvation and the end of all things. Dimly, he sensed the shaking of the chamber become harder, and wondered if the mechanism was strong enough to withstand the pounding it was taking. He reached out to Vorjak, taking the Jaridian's hands in his own. He wasn't sure if the gesture was to offer comfort, or receive it. As he began to open his mind to begin the mental joining that was a necessary prerequisite to the physical merging, he felt the chamber thrown violently sideways, and a rush of heat replaced the flow of the Atavus energies. 

"Wha… " he heard the Jaridian begin, but there was no time for more. With a crash and a ringing crunch, part of the cavern's room gave way and landed on the chamber, crushing it along with its helpless occupants. And the molten rock began pouring into Ma'el cavern through the breached walls, annihilating and removing all traces of anything in it's path….

************

Part 2

*****

"Huh?" was Augur's first thought. The swirling cloud-like mists seemed to remind him of childhood stories of heaven and angels – definitely not an area he had much experience with.

He struggled to understand where he was, and what was happening. He seemed to be suspended somehow in air, but he didn't feel like he was floating. The clouds were swirling majestically around him, but he didn't feel like he was moving, either. Somehow, it was an effort to try to remember.

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The shuttle! he finally grasped it, only to feel the thought float away from him as the misty clouds moved almost hypnotically. This place seemed familiar, somehow, as if he had seen it before…

As he stood, or floated, or whatever, he gradually became aware of a point of light somewhere ahead of him. Steady and pure white, it seemed to draw his eyes and his thoughts. He wasn't sure of the passage of time, but he slowly began to think that it was drifting closer. As it became closer, - or brighter, Augur couldn't quite decide which one – his mind began to clear. Bits and pieces of memory began floating up into his consciousness.

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We were trying to get away from the volcano, he remembered suddenly. _We were in the shuttle, Renee was reaching out her hand to me, and then… _His mind pulled back from the memory of the flash of heat and light, the pain that went beyond pain as the world came rushing up at them and the shuttle impacted into the Siberian tundra below. _We crashed! We crashed and I'm…. dead?_ It was a chilling thought. But the sense of nagging familiarity was back. 

__

But if I'm dead, now what? Where is everybody? What's going on, and how do I get out of here? A chuckle interrupted his thoughts, and he whirled around - at least, he thought he whirled; he couldn't tell without any kind of landmarks to orient himself by. While he had been struggling to remember, the light had approached to almost in front of him, and he put up a hand to shield his face from the brightness.

"Augur, always the one to figure the angles," a voice that he remembered said with laughing affection. And then he realized where he was and who was talking to him.

"Ha'gel," he breathed, with a sense of wonder and dread both. 

The sadly smiling face of Liam's Kimera father shone out of the center of the glowing white light. "Hello, Augur. " The voice was rich and mellow, with overtones of knowledge and wisdom that sent shivers down Augur's spine.

"Am I…dead?" he asked, already suspecting the answer. "I must be, right? This is the astral dimension, the one where Liam and I met you before, isn't it?" 

Ha'gel nodded solemnly. "Yes, Augur, it is. This place is between life and death, between the moments of time, between heartbeats, between the dimensions of what was and what will be." Augur swallowed, his thoughts racing as he tried to deal with this new information. Ha'gel's eyes were kindly, but stern, as he studied the form of the hacker before him, then continued, "And here you must make a choice."

"Choice? What kind of choice?" A tiny frisson of fear was evident in his voice; he hoped the Kimera spirit wouldn't notice, or wouldn't hold it against him if he did.

"We failed, Augur." There was pain, and something else, in the voice of the being who stood before him. "Liam failed, Sandoval failed, Street failed, Renee failed, Da'an failed, you failed. But most of all, I failed. I failed all of you. Because of me, the Taelons and the Jaridians are no more, and humanity will not long survive alone." He paused, and his eyes seemed to hold even more pain than his voice. "My task was to finish Ma'el's work, and join the Taelons and Jaridians together once more, so that together, Taelons, Jaridians, and Humans could accomplish what none could accomplish alone: take the place of the Kimera as the Guardians of Creation."

His eyes wide and stunned, Augur could only stare, speechless for once in his life. Ha'gel continued to look at him with sad, anguished eyes. Finally, Augur's brain seemed to shake itself out of the state of shock that Ha'gel's words had caused. Frantically, he started to speak. "But you said I had a choice! What choice? What can I do? Can I make this stop, save the Taelons and the Jaridians, and my friends?!" Augur's voice cracked as he realized that, if he was dead, then so were Renee and Street, and Da'an, and Liam… _Oh, gods, **Liam**… _The thought of what his friend must have suffered, must have felt at the end, was like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach.

But Ha'gel was shaking his head. "No, Augur, what is done cannot be undone, not once done. But if it were never done at all, then there would be nothing to undo."

"What? NOW you decide to go all cryptic on me? Just what is that supposed to mean?" A sense of irritation pushed aside much of his shock and disbelief. _Why can't an almighty being just speak in plain English instead of making everything a bunch of complicated gobbledygook? _Augur's irritation, as usual, threatened to override his sense of self preservation.

"It means that you have a choice, Augur. You know what has happened, and how it has failed. But do you know why?" The glowing being looked sternly at Augur, who stared defiantly back. "The failure was not one, but the cumulate effect of many small failures along the way. A word spoken, or not spoken. A gesture made, or withheld. Help given, or help rejected. Of these things, each one was not greatly important by itself; but together, they meant the difference between life and death, for three species, and perhaps for an entire Universe."

"You must choose. You can move forward, to the next level. Oh, yes," to Augur's gasp of astonishment, "there is an afterlife. You can continue to grow, and learn, and in time you will reach heights that you never thought possible."

"Or you can go back. Back, not just to the moment of your death. But back, before all the events leading up to the failure. Before all the small failures. Before it was too late. And you can try to make a difference."

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Part 3

*****

Slowly, she became aware that she was suspended in a cloud. For the moment, her mind couldn't seem to work; she felt numb. Ever more slowly, bits of awareness continued to return, and Renee began to look around herself with the beginnings of curiosity. The air seemed clear and fresh, and the swirling clouds reminded her of a brisk Spring day in March, when the weather was just perfect for kite flying.

__

Kite flying? She frowned as the thought moved across the surface of her mind. _That's a strange thing to be thinking about._ Slowly, the memories of breezes and fluttering kite tails gave way to those of sulfurous winds that lashed and burned. She gasped, then moaned as the memories of the eruption slowly returned to her awareness.

"No!" she sobbed. The pain stabbed through her like a knife. She remembered sitting in the shuttle, feeling a crushing sense of loss that she tried desperately to push down, out of the way, knowing that if she gave in to it that she would lose the last fragments of her control. Turning her head in the shuttle, she saw Augur looking toward her with eyes that were wide with fear, pain, and loss. _Liam! _She had watched him die, not once, but twice. Real death. And now, he was facing it again. Alone. The pain and grief threatened to overwhelm her, blocking out much of the fear for their own safety. Reaching out a hand toward Augur, she wasn't sure if she sought comfort, or offered it. Then, her eyes widened as she took in the flaming mountain visible through the shuttle's virtual glass behind Augur's head, as it exploded in a burst of light and sound. She remembered the shuttle's pilot calling out, saying something about losing control, then…

As the memories of their last moments played themselves out in her head, she wrapped her arms around herself, fighting to hold on, to keep her last shreds of control intact. Finally, shuddering, she felt the intensity of the memories begin to lessen, leaving her with room for the beginnings of awareness of her surroundings.

With a glance around at the swirling clouds, she began wondering uneasily if the nuns at her youthful girls' boarding school had gotten it right after all; it certainly did look like all the fanciful descriptions of Heaven she'd heard as a child. She felt a sense of unease. Where was everyo….

A chuckle interrupted her thought. Behind her was a glowing cloud of … well, _something_. And a face that was at once kindly and stern looked back at her from within the shining light. She studied it, feeling a rising awe that she resolutely forced down. "What is this place?" she demanded. "What's going on? Where am I? Who are you, and what do you want?" She glared, adopting her best imperiously demanding look, the one that caused the heads of major corporations to quail. But the being before her seemed unaffected.

"Where do you think you are?" he inquired gently. As Renee drew breath to answer, the memories of a recent conversation with Liam returned. "This is…. You are….," she started, then, taking a deep breath, "Ha'gel."

Slowly, the shining being that was Liam's parent gave a nod of acknowledgment, with a gravity and a solemnity that caused alarms to begin going off in the back of Renee's brain. "Yes, I am Ha'gel. And we need to talk…. about choices." 

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Part 4

*****

The darkness was complete. No sight, no sound, no sensation. 

There was nothing. He wasn't even sure that he existed. He was nothing, there was nothing all around him, he floated in a sea of nothingness. Despair welled up, and he felt like he was suffocating in a web of despair and hopelessness. He tried to call out, but he had no voice. He listened, but there was nothing. Not even the rush of blood that produces a faint and distant drumming in the ear. Nothing.

How long he floated there, he wasn't sure. But gradually, it seemed as though the nothingness was getting lighter, brighter. Now it seemed to be a bit gray in front of him _– what was front, in this world of no direction?_ he wondered – and it seemed to be getting brighter. Gradually, the brightness increased, until it seemed to be rushing toward him. Flickers seemed to stream past him, and he wanted to reach out a hand to grasp at them, but he seemed to have no hands.

As the brightness and the rushing increased, he began to feel a growing sense of urgency, laced with trepidation. Something was ahead, coming toward him; or maybe he was moving toward it. He couldn't be sure which. The brightness began to grow rapidly, and the rushing began to resemble the walls of a cave, or a tunnel. There was something ahead of him, he didn't know what, but it was there. The brightness increased in a sudden burst of overwhelming radiance, and he threw up his hands to shield his face. He felt a moment of surprise to realize that he actually HAD hands after all.

As his dazzled eyes began to clear, Sandoval looked around himself in amazement. What was this place? Stories he had heard at his grandmother's knee as a small child began to rise up out of his memories, and he felt a sudden tightening in his chest. _I'm dead. _The thought should have been frightening; somehow, there was mostly a sense of relief. At least at first. Slowly, he began to look around himself, assessing his surroundings. 

There were no visible landmarks, just the swirling, windblown clouds. But there was no wind. So either he was moving with the same speed as the clouds, or the movement was just an illusion. He looked down at himself, holding up his hands to turn them over, back to front. A sudden flash of panic as he put his hand on his right wrist, pulling up his jacket and shirt sleeve. _No skrill… Not even the marks of one! _A growing puzzlement; then, as memory began to return, he felt his chest, arm, and then placed his hands on his face in increasing astonishment. _No wounds! How…? But it doesn't matter. What matters is figuring out where I am and what's going on!_

He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly, using the breathing techniques he had mastered years before in the discipline of the Tai Chi. A second breath, and he felt calmer. _Okay, what do I remember? _He concentrated. _I was on the mothership. I was about to transport down to Ma'el's regeneration chamber with Vorjak and the other Jaridians, when…_ He frowned, straining to remember. _The missiles? Yes! Missiles! Nuclear warheads! They were trying to destroy the mothership! _Anger surged through him as the memories returned. _Those bastards! The Taelons were all but dead, the Jaridians are on our doorstep, and those idiots that call themselves the ANA try to destroy the one thing that could defend Earth!_

Then another set of memories surfaced. _Vorjak! That lying, cheating BASTARD! He had no intention of keeping his word! _The anger boiled even though he had realized at the time, at least in the abstract, that he had no leverage to ensure that Vorjak kept his word about sparing Earth and setting it up as a Jaridian protectorate with him, Sandoval, in charge. Still, it rankled. Suddenly, a thought froze him, and he felt the anger washed away by a rising tide of fear.

__

Oh, my god! Earth! Did they…. Did he…? The thought was almost too much. He felt his stomach clench, and the taste of bile was strong in the back of his throat. He swallowed convulsively, fighting down a rising sense of panic. Thoughts and possibilities were whirling in his head. _Even if Vorjak failed, the Jaridian ship was still there, still a threat. Did they attack? Is Earth….gone? _At that thought, he felt a wave of despair wash over him, and he clenched his hands into fists, threw back his head, and howled his pain and grief to an uncaring Universe. _"NOOOOOOOO….." _Sobs shook him, and he gave in to all the pain and fear and grief and anger he had been holding in for three long years. 

The emotional storm was brief, but intense. After all, giving in to his deepest feelings wasn't really in his nature. If it were, he would never have survived his years working undercover for the FBI, before the Taelons came, before his life - stopped. 

Taking deep, calming breaths, Sandoval concentrated on getting his emotions back under control. The years of self-discipline served him well; once again, he pushed down the anger and the hatred deep into the back of his soul.

His soul! _What soul? Any soul I had once is nothing but a black stain on the universe! _His thoughts were ruefully bitter. He had known that going undercover against the Taelons, joining the Companion Protector Service, could get him killed. _I should have been so lucky. But I didn't know – none of us knew – about the motivational imperative in the CVI. _By the time the human governments discovered it, it was too late for their operatives. Those receiving the Taelons' 'gift' had willingly, eagerly, betrayed their fellows. Many fine operatives had been lost. Some had been personal friends. And when his CVI had begun to break down, after three years of service to the Companions, Sandoval had been horrified to realize what he had done, what he had become. The only thing that kept him from taking his own life was his need to rescue Dee Dee from the hell he had consigned her to himself. And then they caught him. And reimplanted him.

Only his second implant had begun to fail even sooner than his first. Barely six months later, he had begun to feel uneasy, to question. And then he had watched Zo'or murder William Boone.

Somehow, so much seemed to come back to that day, to that moment. 

Resolutely, he forced his thoughts away from contemplation of the past. He wasn't one to second-guess himself after the fact. And whatever choices he had made, they couldn't be unmade. 

"Are you so certain, Mr. Sandoval?" The voice came from behind him, velvety but with the strength of iron under the surface. He whirled, and drew back in amazement from the glowing form. "What? Who…?" Then, with a suddenness that made the hair stand up on the back of his neck, he felt a sense of familiarity, of recognition. It couldn't be… He stared, momentarily caught off guard.

"You, too, had your place in the design. Your choices were a necessary part of the pattern." Sandoval felt himself transfixed by the being's piercing gaze. "But the pattern was incomplete. As a thread misplaced in the weaving will destroy the symmetry of the cloth, so a choice denied or mischosen will distort the symmetry of creation."

"What are you talking about? I didn't have any choice! The Taelons took that away from me!" Sandoval felt the bitterness in his own words, but he didn't care. "The Taelons used me, my government abandoned me, my own people chose to label me a traitor and tried to kill me. Where did I have a _choice_?!" 

"There are always choices. That they appear to be small ones can be deceptive. Your failure was not necessarily in the choices themselves, but rather in your rationale for choosing. Did you never reach beyond your own well being, to those with whom you journeyed?" 

"I…," Sandoval began.

"Yes, you. It begins and ends with you. You must have faith, Mr. Sandoval. Faith is the key." Sandoval felt the world, or whatever it was, around him beginning to fade away. As he felt the darkness close over him once more, he felt a strange tightening in his chest. It almost reminded him of….hope? 

A short distance away, unseen by Sandoval, Liam watched his human father and his Kimera parent together. He felt himself trembling as different, conflicting emotions rose up within him. He had watched as Ha'gel met with each of his friends – Augur, Renee, Street, even Da'an - unseen but fully aware of both their words and the thoughts and feelings which accompanied them. But this, watching Sandoval, had been hardest of all. There were so many things that might have been, so many things he wished undone, or done differently.

As Ha'gel approached him once more, after Sandoval's departure, he raised eyes that were wide with unshed tears. Wordlessly, Ha'gel opened his arms and embraced his child. Liam's burden would be greatest of all, he knew, for he alone would bear the full memories of what was, and what would be. But though he knew that Liam's path would not be free of pain, he also knew that his child's faith and courage were equal to the task. And so he cradled Liam gently in his arms, offering strength and comfort for the coming journey.

*****************

Part 5

*****

As Sandoval turned the corner toward Da'an's audience chamber, he abruptly came to a complete halt. For just a moment, he felt completely disoriented. Feeling the hair on the back of his neck standing on end, he turned and looked around himself, his gaze taking in the walls of the corridor and the doorway ahead of him. The feeling wasn't exactly like the ones he had when there was immediate danger; his CVI-enhanced senses often picked up signs that he reacted to automatically before they consciously registered. No, this wasn't like that. It was more a sense of what people liked to call 'déjà vu', the feeling that you had been somewhere before, said or done exactly the same thing before. Slowly, with another thorough look at his surroundings, he resumed his steps toward the door and his meeting with Da'an.

Stepping through the doorway, he observed that Da'an was not seated in his thronelike chair, but rather was standing near the chamber's window gazing out over the city of Washington, D.C. Offering the Taelon salute, he spoke. "You sent for me, Da'an?"

Slowly, Da'an turned to face him. Sandoval was shocked by his appearance. The Taelon's usual calm demeanor was gone, and he appeared agitated. He fancied that he could see the flicker of blue Taelon energy under the Companion's 'skin', and Da'an's fingers were moving rapidly and without their usual grace. "Yes, Agent Sandoval. There has been a murder, by an escaped criminal. Your assistance is required to apprehend the murderer."

"A young woman has been found murdered, under somewhat unusual circumstances. Your expertise in investigations of such incidents may prove beneficial. I wish you to report to Commander Boone, who is presently overseeing the efforts of the local police to locate and apprehend this murderer…"

********

Much later that night, as a confused Sandoval climbed, naked and shivering, from the dumpster in the alley, he felt again that nagging sense of familiarity, as if … But the thought was quickly forgotten, for as he searched his memory for the events responsible for his current embarrassing predicament, he realized with rising emotion that his CVI's motivational imperative was no longer fully intact. 

********

Staring at the face of the man he had considered his rival, Sandoval felt a rising confusion of emotions. William Boone floated, motionless, in the tank of fluid, his injuries from the final confrontation with Ha'gel visible around the tubes and wires connecting him to the Taelon life-support system. A whisper of sound behind him caused him to turn, and with surprise he saw Zo'or approaching the tank. Outwardly the perfect implant, he watched with rising horror as Zo'or placed his hand on the tank, and caused Boone's body to disperse in a shower of sparkling energy.

As Zo'or turned to give him one last look of satisfaction, Sandoval stared at the empty tank. Zo'or's actions shouldn't have surprised him; it had been obvious for quite some time that the U.N. Companion was attempting to remove or discredit Boone, as part of a power struggle with Da'an. But somehow, the casual brutality that Zo'or had displayed shocked him on some deep level. As the Taelon's steps took him from the chamber, Sandoval continued to stare at the empty tank. It was really none of his business. He was an implant, he served the Taelons, and whatever choices the Taelons made were not for him to question.

He continued to stare at the tank for a long time, emotions churning in his mind. He had disliked Boone, had been jealous of his place as Da'an's Protector – a place that he himself had held before Da'an had brought in Boone. A part of him was even pleased that Boone was gone; maybe now Da'an would take him back as his Protector. He turned and started toward the door, intending to return to his duties. And stopped, as memories flooded his mind.

__

Da'an, wearing some kind of dark, hooded robe, with a shocking mix of fear and hunger on his face. Da'an, again, but this time staring at him in anger and contempt. Zo'or, impassively watching a man in a room made of Taelon bioslurry who convulsed on the floor, then lay still. Zo'or, again, with a look of fury on his face, striking the controls on his command chair, and then he turned to see a bolt of energy slam into the Earth, impacting in the western Pacific Ocean. A hospital room, a feeling of helplessness and resignation, looking down at his wallet, then up at a young man in a dark coat. Another room, oriental music playing, and the same young man with a look of righteous anger, staring at him and pointing a gun at his face. Holding a newborn child in his hands, and feeling a sense of connection, knowing that the child was his. An alien – not a Taelon – speaking words that filled him with triumph and satisfaction; a feeling of betrayal, and the same alien, staring down at him as he lies on the floor, with anger and scorn written plainly on that face. Pain, and a sense of loss so poignant that it brings tears to his eyes.

Pale, clammy, and trembling, he stood there for a long while, desperately reaching out to recapture the fading memories. His thoughts whirling, he reeled with the half-grasped, half-remembered feelings and emotions. _Choices._ The word floated up in his mind. His CVI hung on the edges of his thoughts, the motivational imperative a cold hardness that no longer completely enclosed his thoughts. Slowly, he raised his eyes to the empty tank of blue fluid, considering his next action and all its possible ramifications. Then he turned once more and started toward the door. He knew what he had to do, now.

He couldn't undo Boone's death; that was beyond his ability.

But he could bring the news to Da'an, tell of what he had seen, and offer his condolences. And his support.

*************** 

Part 6

*****

"You sent for us, Zo'or?" Sandoval made the question sound like a statement, Liam thought.

"Yes, Agent Sandoval. There has been an attack at the Taelon Embassy in Washington. You and Major Kincaid must proceed there in all haste." Zo'or appeared nervous, almost frantic, in his movements. In fact, Liam couldn't remember ever seeing Zo'or this agitated before. Of course, his memories didn't exactly go back that far, but still….

Sandoval's face seemed to be its usual calm mask. "What were the circumstances of the attack, Zo'or?" the Agent queried. 

"Da'an has been attacked. You must stop the beast that has attacked him. Find it, and kill it!" Zo'or's voice rose. _Was that a hint of fear?,_ Liam wondered in surprise. Then, as Zo'or's words registered, he blurted out, "What's happened to Da'an? Is he alright?"

But Zo'or seemed to be ignoring his question. "Find the beast, at once! Kill it, before it attacks and kills us all!"

"Let's go, Major," Sandoval looked at him momentarily, then turned and started toward the exit. Liam looked at Zo'or again, then turned to follow. His mind was whirling with questions. What was this beast that had attacked Da'an, and where had it come from? And was Da'an alright? But he tried to keep his face calm and expressionless as he hurried to catch up with Sandoval.

They had more questions than answers, Liam thought. As he watched Sandoval straighten up from his examination of the desiccated corpse of the would-be mugger, the Agent's face appeared impassive as usual, but Liam could see the same questions in his eyes that were echoing around inside his own head. 

__

Something's not right about this. The Taelons know a lot more than they're telling about this 'beast', and our not knowing could get more people killed. Liam had had enough half-truths and evasions. "Sandoval, you know as well as I do that there's more to this than the Taelons have told us. What are they hiding, and why?" He saw Sandoval's head jerk in his direction, and the Agent turned a cold gaze on him. But he was having none of it. "And don't give me that 'I'm only following orders' look; we need more information if we're going to have a chance of finding this thing before it kills again. And of finding Da'an. We need to talk to Zo'or." With that, he turned and headed to his shuttle. Sandoval could come with him or not; he was irritated enough not to care right now. 

But he realized that his irritation was just a cover for his deep anxiety over Da'an. The North American Companion was still missing, and Zo'or was still insisting that he was dead. But something about the explanations just didn't feel right to Liam. His gut, or instinct, or whatever, was telling him that Da'an was still alive. But the anxiety twisted around and through that certainty, telling him without words that time was running out. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he was certain. If he didn't find Da'an soon… But he didn't want to finish that thought. He frowned, unaware that his concern was showing plainly on his face. Somehow, Da'an had become very important to him, in a very short time.

He didn't see the thoughtful look that Sandoval gave him, but when he sat down at the shuttle's controls, Sandoval was right behind him and settling in to the passenger's seat without further comment. Neither man said a word as Liam smoothly lifted the shuttle and set a course for the Mothership.

********

__

Da'an is alive! Sandoval still couldn't believe it. Zo'or said it was impossible, yet Da'an was once again himself, no longer the ravening beast that had attacked and killed, and he was now returned to the Commonality. _And Kincaid is mixed up in it. I know he is! _Sandoval felt again that nagging sense of irritation that had become commonplace around the Major. What disturbed him most, though, was the strange sense of recognition, of familiarity, that he also felt, mixed up with a feeling of not-quite-right. As an FBI field agent who frequently worked undercover, Sandoval had learned to trust his instincts about people, even when there was no apparent reason for the feelings. It had saved his life more than once before. And Kincaid definitely set alarm bells to ringing. Well, Kincaid wouldn't be a problem for much longer. Zo'or intended to see to that. Sandoval had his orders, and Kincaid would die.

__

A simple shuttle accident should do it, he thought as he walked through the Washington Embassy's corridors to the shuttle pad. _The Major is a relatively new pilot. A few simple adjustments to his shuttle, and when he goes into ID space, he doesn't come out again. _It seemed simple enough. Abruptly he stopped, as the sound of familiar voices echoed around the corner ahead of him. 

The Major's voice. "Well, I'm just glad you're alright, Da'an."

The soft voice of the Taelon. "I shall not be 'alright' for some time, Liam. I have taken the life of another, a violation of our most sacred law. I do not know how I shall bear it." Pain was laced throughout the soft words, cutting through him with a razor's sharpness.

Again, the Major. "Da'an, listen to me. It was not your fault. You were not in control. You can't blame yourself." The earnestness didn't hide the genuine feeling, the caring, behind the words. "It wasn't your fault."

Sandoval felt the words trigger something in his mind. _White-robed men standing in their way, and Major Kincaid pulling at his arm, pulling him behind a boulder, as the impact of an energy weapon sent chips of rock flying. Da'an, looking down at a woman floating, face down, in a bathtub, as swirls of blue energy dance on the surface of the water. Zo'or, wearing an expression of glee mixed with hatred, with his hand pressed to the chest of another Taelon, as that other writhed with pain. Kincaid, again, wearing old-fashioned clothes and looking at him with a strange mix of emotions as Sandoval pointed a gun at his face. A man's face, bloody and battered, staring with wide eyes into nothing as he methodically moves his arm back and forth in the restraints. The same man, shouting something angrily at a blonde woman, and pointing a gun as Kincaid grabs him from behind. The blonde woman again, with Kincaid, firing energy weapons at someone behind him. A young woman with red hair, surrounded by dancing figures of light._

Abruptly, the images faded, and Sandoval stood, momentarily overwhelmed. The memories had a nagging sense of familiarity, as though he ought to know what they represented. For a moment, it seemed as though a veil lifted, and he had a strange sense of clarity. _Kincaid truly cares about Da'an. And Da'an seems very protective of his new Protector. Zo'or is using that to try to hurt Da'an, just like he killed Boone to take him away from Da'an, to hurt him and to isolate him. And that's why he wants me to kill Kincaid. _He remembered the Taelon's look of pain when he had learned of Boone's death. Somehow, he had known of it even before Sandoval told him. And he had nodded gravely when Sandoval had offered words of sympathy, mutely acknowledging the human's attempt to ease his burden of grief.

Soft words brought him back to the voices from around the corner. "It was my hand which killed. Then where does the fault lie, if not with me? I should have resisted. I should have embraced the void. But I did not." A momentary pause. "And for my weakness, others have paid the price."

Softly, Sandoval turned and retraced his steps out of the embassy. He had his orders, and his MI would see to it that he carried them out. But he would find some other way to try to remove Kincaid. One that wouldn't have such a high probability of success. 

The memories were fading from his mind now, in a way that they shouldn't have, given the presence of a CVI. But he felt a sense of satisfaction at his decision, and one that definitely didn't come from the MI's artificial emotional stimulation. 

**************

Part 7

*****

Augur grinned as he admired the beautiful woman in the limousine beside him. Now this was more like it! Not only beautiful – which was Augur's minimum criteria for even considering a relationship – but with brains, too! He was so focused on admiring the packaging that he almost missed the offer.

"I think you will find that we have much to offer you, Augur." The woman's beauty belied the businesslike tone of her voice, so much so that Augur had difficulty concentrating on her words. "And I think you will find the compensation … more than adequate." Beverly Wu looked at him expectantly.

"Well, now, that's a very attractive offer. And one that sounds, well, " he gave a small laugh, "almost too good to be true. So just what does this involve, exactly?" His bargaining skills were coming into play almost automatically. He NEVER took an initial offer; whatever was offered was usually quite a bit less than the buyer was really willing to pay. And Augur always demanded top price. And usually got it, too.

"The details will be given to you after you accept our offer. However, I can guarantee that this will allow you to finish much of your research without the … inconveniences…of narrow-minded government agencies and universities." Beverly's tone was firm, but he pressed anyway.

"I need to know more than that! After all, you're asking me to trust you with some very high-powered technology. And the science behind it, too. I'm going to have to think this over." Augur looked directly into her eyes, willing her to find him as irresistible as he found himself. "How about we discuss it over dinner?"

Beverly shook her head. "No, I need an answer from you right now. Either you accept, and we give you the rest of the information then, or you say no and walk away right now. My bosses can live with either choice." She paused, then leaned toward him slightly, looking him fully in the face. He caught his breath as the scent of her perfume washed over him, and he felt his pants tightening uncomfortably. More than they already were, that was. "I, however, would…prefer it…if you accepted."

"Okay, then, I guess I'm in. Where and when do we meet to finish the deal?" His mind was only half on the business side of the conversation. That in itself was surprising. So was what happened next.

"We don't. The deal starts right now." She sat back with a little smile of satisfaction, touching one of the buttons on the arm beside her. As Augur felt the effect of an ID portal begin, his eyes widened at the resources that she must have available to her to be able to afford a custom portal in her limo. His thoughts were rudely interrupted as his rump smacked firmly into the hard floor.

**********

"Liam, I can't TELL you where I am right now, okay? Look, I'll get back with you when I can. I gotta go." Augur abruptly ended the conversation, closing his global with a grimace. _If I tell the kid where I am, he'll find some way to mess things up with Beverly, I KNOW it! _He deliberately ignored the little voice whispering to him that Beverly was involved in things that would definitely not meet with Liam's approval. Or his either, if he were completely honest with himself. Which he rarely was. That little voice was a real pain sometimes.

He looked up as the object of his thoughts entered the lab, her beautiful face marred by a frown.

"We need to get the efficiency up at least another two points. With only 96 percent, there's too much excess heat loss. It's wasteful, and we need that extra power for the beam." Her voice was beautiful, he thought. He almost missed what she had said. Then it registered.

"Only 94%? We need at least 99.7% minimum, or we're gonna start some really nasty shaking around these parts." He frowned, remembering his calculations of the output of the energy weapon. It was supposed to draw directly from deep in the Earth's mantle, using the heat and magnetic flows of the planet to power the weapon. And it took a LOT of power to punch it through ID space.

"I calculate that 98.5 is sufficient for our purposes." Her voice was cold, but he barely noticed.

"Our purposes? And just what are WE trying to do?" Augur had finally had enough of the evasions Beverly had been offering from the beginning. He wanted to know what this monster was supposed to do, because it sure as hell was starting to look like some kind of last-ditch, use-it-once kind of doomsday weapon. And that was starting to scare him. 

Beverly just looked at him. Then she gave a sigh, apparently surrendering to the inevitable. "We begin powering it up in just under 3 hours. When the weapon is up to full power, it will open a hole through ID space that will transmit the full force of the beam directly at the target." 

"Enough games! What target?" Augur was starting to suspect the answer, but he needed to hear it anyway.

"Jaridia."

As Beverly left, Augur stood there in disbelief at the sheer magnitude of what they were considering. It wasn't just a weapon to defend Earth from attacking Jaridian warships, as he had originally suspected. But it was meant to strike directly at the heart of the Jaridian empire, destroying an entire planet in a single stroke. _And an entire species in one gigantic shot._

Well, maybe not all of the Jaridians. But destroying their homeworld will come pretty close to taking out the entire species, then all the Taelons have left is to mop up the leftovers. He was still aghast at the magnitude of the attempt. He stopped as he realized that both the Taelons and the Jaridians were already responsible for the destruction of entire planets. The Jaridians had even destroyed the Taelon homeworld.

__

Maybe a little tit-for-tat, huh? He grinned, then froze as he suddenly felt a rush of images in his mind.

__

Searchlights streaming through a window as he hears Liam cry out, "Get down!" and the night is shattered by the sound of gunfire. A blue room filled with stacks of gold bars, and then a sharp stinging in his wrist that turns into an agony racing up his arm as he falls to the floor. Renee, staring in disbelief at Liam as he almost shouted, "He's my Father!". A young red-haired woman – Juliette, he remembered – staring at him with a look of hurt and betrayal in her eyes as Sandoval presses a gun to her head. A voice heard through muffling darkness "Welcome to SenDep." Renee, again, reaching out to touch an image on Liam on a screen as the ground shakes. A tightness in his chest as he stares at a computer screen with a readout "Capt. Lili Marquette – DNA match confirmed." 

The thoughts and images swirled through his head, and he felt dizzy and shaken as they abruptly ceased. _What….just happened? _He struggled to make sense of what he had seen. No, more than seen. He **felt** those thoughts, those images, as if they were a part of him. What was going on?

__

The effects of choices. He wasn't sure where the words came from; he was sure no one had spoken, yet it felt like he was hearing the words. Then he momentarily forgot the images as all the pieces of this puzzle seemed to fall into place. _The Taelons intend to use this weapon to destroy the Jaridians, and they don't care if it destroys Earth in the process! If I don't stop it now, this thing is going to shake the planet apart from the inside out! _The calculations and scenarios continued to run through his head. Then he remembered Beverly. _She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's beautiful, brilliant, sexy. And she loves me, I know she does. I just need a little longer to convince her, then I'll call Liam and tell him all about the Forge project. How can I give her – and this – up? _He felt as if someone were ripping the heart right out of his chest. 

Then he thought of Liam, and the look in his eyes as he had questioned Augur about his mysterious project. Somehow, just by looking at him, Liam had conveyed such feelings of hope and entreaty, such belief in him, that it was almost more than he could stand. _Ah, the kid expects too much of me! I'm not the person he believes I am! _But the vision of the green eyes gazing at him would not go away. 

"Aargh! I'm gonna regret this, I know I am!" In a combination of desperation and despair, Augur reached for his global and keyed in Liam's number.

********

As the energy pulses began to build, a technician started to notice an anomaly in one of the readings. A section of the immense crustal plate that was Antarctica was starting to show an unexpected increase in stress, and the buildup of energy was beginning to transfer to neighboring tectonic plates, especially the Pacific and Asian plates. A slight tremor shook the control room. There was a possibility that the ID tunnel wouldn't be stable once it opened. He turned to notify his boss, Dr. Beverly Wu, but never got the chance.

Behind them, a door opened, and a burst of weapons fire destroyed several of the main consoles. As an explosion ripped through the room from the overloaded power couplings, one wall and a section of the roof began to collapse as the massive energy beam weapon lost power without ever completing the quantum tunnel to the Jaridian homeworld. 

Deep beneath the continent of Antarctica, the tremendous pressures building and spreading to adjoining tectonic plates began to subside. And halfway around the world, where two massive slabs of crustal rock ground together on the edges of the Pacific "ring of fire", a fissure that was about to develop under an isolated peninsula known as the most geologically active area of the world – didn't.

And Mount Karmenikov slumbered on, oblivious to the wrenching sobs of the man who cradled his dead lover in his arms in the midst of a frozen wasteland of snow and ice.

*********

TBC


End file.
